Circles

I don't know how my past has brought me to this present, and

I don't know how my present will lead me to the future.

I feel that I'm going round and round in circles, with no beginning and without the end.

Surrender

Even when our hopes give way to reality and we finally have to surrender to the truth, it just means we've lost today battle. Not tomorrow's war. Here's the thing about surrender, once you do it, actually give in, you forget why you were even fighting in the first place.

- Quote from Grey Anatomy S5 Sweet Surrender -

Trauma

Doesn't matter how tough we are, trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives, trauma messes everybody up, but maybe that's the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward. It's what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up.

- Quote from Grey Anatomy S5 Elevator Love Letter -

The Other Side of This Life

"Maybe we accept the dream has become a nightmare. We tell ourselves that reality is better. We convince ourselves it's better that we never dream at all. But, the strongest of us, the most determined of us, holds on to the dream or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We wake to find ourselves, against all odds, feeling hopeful. And, if we're lucky, we realize in the face of everything, in the face of life the true dream is being able to dream at all"

- Quote from Grey Anatomy S3 The Other Side of This Life -

Wishin' and Hopin'

"...what patients really want to know is - will the pain go away? Will I feel better? Am I cured? What our patients really want to know is - is there hope? But, inevitably, there are times when you find yourself in the worst case scenario. When the patient's body has betrayed them and all the science we have to offer has failed them. When the worst case scenario comes true, clinging to hope is all we've got left."

"...we live in a world of worse case scenarios. We cut ourselves off from hoping for the best because too many times the best doesn’t happen. But every now and then something extraordinary occurs and suddenly best case scenarios seem possible. And every now and then something amazing happens, and against our better judgment we start to have hope."

- Quotes from Grey Anatomy S3 Wishin' and Hopin'-

Scars and Souvenirs

What's worse? New wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should've healed years ago and never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something, they remind us where we've been and what we've overcome, they teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think, but that's not the way it is, is it? Somethings you just have to learn over and over and over again.

- Grey Anatomy S3 Scars and Souvenirs Ending Quote -

All efforts made to make up for past mistakes will ultimately be worthwhile. Sift the sand and find the gold!

Embrassing Miscommunication

A month ago, Guy and Gal accidentally had a locking lips incident. They both agreed not to let this moment of weakness ruin their potentially cool friendship.

Out of the blue one day, Gal who was aboard for a stressful job training + under extreme cold weather (hence maybe that's why she was cranky)received a text from Guy.

Guy's text: I tried hard not to find it all very weird...but failed ;)

Gal's text: U are making me so confused. So does that mean u want me to be out of your life completely?

Guy's text: Er...no, im the one that is confused now. I was talking about the parade being entertaining....!

Gal's text: Oh shit...embrassing...just ignore. We re good.

Guy's text: No worries ;)

Narrator: What the F****??!!

That's it!

That's it!

- The end of this journey is the start of the next adventure -

It doesn’t matter at all what I want - it’s dependent upon what life can give me!

De Profundis (Extract) ~ by Oscar Wilde

Suffering is one very long moment. We cannot divide it by seasons. We can only record its moods, and chronicle their return. With us time itself does not progress. It revolves. It seems to circle round one centre of pain. The paralysing immobility of a life every circumstance of which is regulated after an unchangeable pattern, so that we eat and drink and lie down and pray, or kneel at least for prayer, according to the inflexible laws of an iron formula: this immobile quality, that makes each dreadful day in the very minutest detail like its brother, seems to communicate itself to those external forces the very essence of whose existence is ceaseless change.

An act can cause a ripple of unknown effects and consequences.

What About Me ~ Shannon Noll

Well there's a little boy waiting at the counter of a corner shop
He's been waiting down there, waiting half the day
They never ever see him from the top
He gets pushed around, knocked to the ground
He gets to his feet and he says

[CHORUS:]
What about me, it isn't fair
I've had enough now i want my share
Can't you see i wanna live
But you just take more than you give

Well there's a pretty girl serving at the counter of the corner shop
She's been waiting back there, waiting for her dreams
Her dreams walk in and out they never stop
Well she's not too proud to cry out loud
She runs to the street and she screams

[CHORUS]

So take a step back and see the little people
They may be young but they're the ones
That make the big people big
So listen, as they whisper
What about me

And now i'm standing on the corner all the world's gone home
Nobody's changed, nobody's been saved
And i'm feeling cold and alone
I guess i'm lucky, i smile a lot
But sometimes i wish for more than i've got

[CHORUS]

The Quotes that I Lurve from 'The Good Wife' - Season 1

Alicia: You won't feel like it. But put on nice clothing. Force yourself to. Not for public. For you.

Client: Does it ever get easier?

Alicia: No, but you do get better at it.

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Peter: When I get out, it will all go back to normal.

Alicia: Nothing will ever go back to normal.

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Kalinda: You oughta try it some time.

Alicia: Flipping someone off?

Kalinda: It's good for your soul.

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Jackie: I am doing the best I can.

Alicia: Well, join the club!

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Peter: I've looked in the mirror and what I've seen I don't like.

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Diane: This is a power play, pure and simple.

Will: Nothing here is pure and nothing here is simple.

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Kalinda: Alicia, you're a good lawyer, but you're always waiting for people to give you things.

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Cary: You like to think you're a good person. Maybe that used to be the case. But we both know you'll do whatever it takes.

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Alicia: I'm just so tired of this.

Kalinda: That's what people like Cary count on.

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Alicia: Poetry is easy; it's the parent-teacher conferences that are hard

Hermit

Hermit is who I truly am - always going out on my own, taking a risk and leaving behind mediocrity in favour of what I truly want to do. There is no guarantee that what I have chosen is the right path, for the lantern only lights a short distance and I have somehow always only managed to glimpse a little of what lies ahead of me...then it diminishes...a good explanation why I fell so hard at times.

Strength is what I really need now to continue with the journey that I have started, for there is this overwhelming fear...slowly consuming me from within.

"History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again" ~ Maya Angelou

Bittersweet Autumn in Aussie - a symphony of permanence and change as I'm battling through the rat race.

There's a long road between coherence and competence.

What gives flight to our life is our imagination

Well, if you want something badly enough, dreams have a way of coming true.

The truth will set you free, it won't always make you happy.

Ludwig van Beethoven's 'Immortal Beloved' Love Letters

The First Letter
July 6, in the morning

My angel, my all, my very self - Only a few words today and at that with pencil (with yours) - Not till tomorrow will my lodgings be definitely determined upon - what a useless waste of time - Why this deep sorrow when necessity speaks - can our love endure except through sacrifices, through not demanding everything from one another; can you change the fact that you are not wholly mine, I not wholly thine - Oh God, look out into the beauties of nature and comfort your heart with that which must be - Love demands everything and that very justly - thus it is to me with you, and to your with me. But you forget so easily that I must live for me and for you; if we were wholly united you would feel the pain of it as little as I - My journey was a fearful one; I did not reach here until 4 o'clock yesterday morning. Lacking horses the post-coach chose another route, but what an awful one; at the stage before the last I was warned not to travel at night; I was made fearful of a forest, but that only made me the more eager - and I was wrong. The coach must needs break down on the wretched road, a bottomless mud road. Without such postilions as I had with me I should have remained stuck in the road. Esterhazy, traveling the usual road here, had the same fate with eight horses that I had with four - Yet I got some pleasure out of it, as I always do when I successfully overcome difficulties - Now a quick change to things internal from things external. We shall surely see each other soon; moreover, today I cannot share with you the thoughts I have had during these last few days touching my own life - If our hearts were always close together, I would have none of these. My heart is full of so many things to say to you - ah - there are moments when I feel that speech amounts to nothing at all - Cheer up - remain my true, my only treasure, my all as I am yours. The gods must send us the rest, what for us must and shall be -
Your faithful LUDWIG.


The Second Letter
Evening, Monday, July 6

You are suffering, my dearest creature - only now have I learned that letters must be posted very early in the morning on Mondays to Thursdays - the only days on which the mail-coach goes from here to K. - You are suffering - Ah, wherever I am, there you are also - I will arrange it with you and me that I can live with you. What a life!!! thus!!! without you - pursued by the goodness of mankind hither and thither - which I as little want to deserve as I deserve it - Humility of man towards man - it pains me - and when I consider myself in relation to the universe, what am I and what is He - whom we call the greatest - and yet - herein lies the divine in man - I weep when I reflect that you will probably not receive the first report from me until Saturday - Much as you love me - I love you more - But do not ever conceal yourself from me - good night - As I am taking the baths I must go to bed - Oh God - so near! so far! Is not our love truly a heavenly structure, and also as firm as the vault of heaven?


The Third Letter
Good morning, on July 7

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

CBS's primetime drama 'The Good Wife'

Can so see myself addicted to CBS's primetime drama 'The Good Wife' that's showing in Ten Network soon! Yeah!

Call me a sadist but I actually like the slapping scene. It displayed the utter disappointment and hurt of a woman - by the man she loves.

Chris Noth still looks as dashing and charismatic as ever – you just can’t hate him, can you?

Jane Austen's all time classic

Lose your heart
and
Come to your senses!

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Marianne: Can he love her? Can the soul be really be satisfied with such polite affections? To love is to burn - to be on fire, like Juliet or Guinevere or Eloise... .

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Elinor: Did he tell you he loved you?

Marianne: Yes... no. Never absolutely. It was everyday implied but never declared.

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Marianne: Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. Or bends with the remover to remove. Oh no! It is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken.

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Elinor: You have no confidence in me.

Marianne: This reproach from you. You who confide in no-one.

Elinor: I have nothing to tell.

Marianne: Nor I. Neither of us have anything to tell. I because I conceal nothing and you because you communicate nothing.

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Elinor: What do you know of my heart? What do you know of anything but your own suffering. For weeks, Marianne, I've had this pressing on me without being at liberty to speak of it to a single creature. It was forced on me by the very person whose prior claims ruined all my hope. I have endured her exultations again and again whilst knowing myself to be divided from Edward forever. Believe me, Marianne, had I not been bound to silence I could have provided proof enough of a broken heart, even for you.

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Elinor: Whatever his past actions, whatever his present course... at least you may be certain that he loved you.

Marianne: But not enough. Not enough.

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Elinor: Would you have him treat her even worse than Willoughby has treated you?

Marianne: No. But nor would I have him marry someone he does not love.

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Colonel Brandon: Your sister seems very happy.

Elinor: Yes. Marianne does not approve of hiding her emotions. In fact, her romantic prejudices have the unfortunate tendency to set propriety at naught.

Colonel Brandon: She is wholly unspoilt.

Elinor: Rather too unspoilt, in my view. The sooner she becomes acquainted with the ways of the world, the better.

Colonel Brandon: I knew a lady very like your sister - the same impulsive sweetness of temper - who was forced into, as you put it, a better acquaintance with the world. The result was only ruination and despair. Do not desire it, Miss Dashwood.

“A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart.”

“I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.”

~Anonymous~