Frustration and Despair are about to worn me out. Is it really worth putting up such a fight? I don't know. 'Living for oneself' comes with a price and I suppose I am paying for it now. My defences are really very weak now...sometimes I can really feel as if I am slowly...slowly...slowly...fading away... . If I have a remote control for my life, this is the phase that I will press the button 'fast forward'!!!